Godzwilla Doesn't Take a Bath. Problems ensue.

Note: I'm slowly moving away from the "Godzwilla versus ____" template because I feel like using it is restricting the kind of topics I can discuss. Sometimes I'll bring it back if I'm in confrontation with something but don't expect it to be a regular tradition anymore.

Did you know that one of the most prevalent stereotypes about foreigners in Japan is that we smell bad? It's all very complicated and, as this is a stereotype, totally bullshitscular. Bullshitastic, if you will.

It's because we don't take bathes.

In Japan, the bathing ritual is both traditional (like religion) and contradictory (like reli...whoops, almost alienated my religious fans). The typical setup is that the bathwater is drawn at say, around 6pm. The "bath" and "shower" are not one in the same, as the shower is actually separate from the bath tub. Then, following a series of hierarchy and politeness, the first person (typically the Father) will go into the bathroom, shower briefly, and get in the tub. I have no information as to exactly what they do in there but for the sake of educated guessing we'll just assume he's plotting to kill his own family to avoid debt or something else that would never happen.* Then he gets out, takes a longer shower, and lets the next person repeat the process.

So the Japanese are all very clean, right? And we foreigners are naturally dirtier because we only take showers. Thus, we must smell.

Except the Japanese share the same bathwater.

I want you to really soak in the irony here. Enjoy it. It's wonderful. Foreigners smell bad because we don't take bathes in water that has already been bathed in. I mean, where's the flaw in logic here?

I actually don't mind the stereotype so much. Japan's a country and deserves to believe whatever fallicies and BLATANT SLANDER OMG I WILL SO SUE YOU!!!....*cough*. I mean, Japan can believe whatever it wants to. Where's the harm?

My girlfriend is now CRITICIZING me for not using the bathwater. I told her that if she wanted me to take a bath, then Godzwilla requires to be first. It went a bit like this:

GF: "Don't you think it'd be better to take a bath? People wouldn't say you smell."
Godz: "No, they would still say it, except then I could yell back 'I took a bath!' and it'd get really awkward for everyone."
GF: "It's already awkward for everyone because you smell bad."
Godz: "You're only saying that because I don't take a bath. It's irrelevant that I actually do smell bad. Not all of us foreigners smell like I do."
GF: "Nice."
Godz: "I'm not proud of that argument but damnit I'm right."

...Cause damnit, I'm RIGHT.


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